I was lost in the Amazonian jungle for 6 months...
I had been kidnapped by Chechyn rebels and forced into a labor camp of former American Idol losers...
No. I was trapped in a hot air balloon 2 miles above the ground due to a rare, but altogether too-common wind vortex that kept me circling the same 4 foot square spot.
Okay, okay, okay... I was really back-packing through the Northwest Territories with a white wolf who was the reincarnated Dahli Llama. He likes beef jerky.
Oh hell, fine, I really don't have a great excuse as to why I haven't posted in almost a year. The company I work for has website blocking software which includes blogger. Ugh. And I don't really make time at home to write. It's so inconvenient what with the sleeping and eating and listening to Napster. But don't think for a minute I haven't thought of you, my readers, every day of those 9 months I was absent. Except for Mondays. I hate Mondays. They hate me. It's kind of a mutual thing.
Look, I know you all feel betrayed, I really do. But, can we not move on and forgive each other? Life is too short to hold onto this bitterness and rage. Come on, group hug everyone!
No? Ah well. I'll just hug myself, even if it is awkward. And makes me feel like a retard.
But, I'll do it readers. That's how much I love you.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, May 03, 2007
commander, schmander...
What the fuck? I'm the "Commander Guy"? You have got to be shitting me! How old is our dear leader this week? 6? I have had it up to here with all the shit this guy piles on us every time he gets the chance. This week we had the troop withdrawal bill passed by the House and Senate, then sent to numbnuts to spill veto all over it. Him all the while calling the Dems out for being obstructionists and political game players in their effort to reign this jack-ass in. I'm sorry Mr. Jerkwad, but what has your "party" done for the last 12 years? Hmm? OH, yeah, fucked us royally stupid, that's what. Now he's decided on a new label for himself that the Main-Crap-Media can spout at us ad nauseum to infinity, or until the next agnomen he bestows upon himself. "Commander Guy", jeez, he couldn't command a morning erection, let alone an entire country and military to boot. How long do we have to stand here with our noses pinched to avoid the foul stench being piled around us before something substantial is undertaken to remove him and Cheney the Dick from office? I don't think we can stand the next 2 years if he is allowed to stay there.
I can only say one thing- Don't Back Down Dems. Not now. Not ever.
I can only say one thing- Don't Back Down Dems. Not now. Not ever.
Friday, April 06, 2007
since when did spring=cold as fuck?
Snow. Snow all last night. In Arkansas! WTF?!?!?!
Granted it stuck around about as long as an orgasm but not nearly as much fun. I am all kinds of familiar with the weather patterns of my home state but it's April not February (hey look, I spelled it right!) and I can definitely do without wearing my winter coat and Bahama shorts. At the same time. So fucking cool you don't even have to tell me.
I guess I really shouldn't be surprised as it's Easter weekend, Cadbury season I like to say, so we should have expected some kind of freak weather pattern. You know, a hurricane or tsunami or something. Cuz that's just how it goes around here. It is totally not possible to hide Easter eggs in anything but gale force winds and hail the size of Aunt Martha's bunions. Can't be done. I do think the snow was overdoing it just a smidge.
My family usually has a big dinner and then all the adults get their kid on and run around the yard looking for the best hiding places for eggs and bear traps. hehe :) Silly Uncle Larry. Such a kidder. Then we turn all the younger ones loose and watch overzealous moms cheat by showing their mini-me's where the eggs are. Did I mention the traps?
We'll do this about, oh, 4 times until it gets to the point of hiding the eggs in body cavities for lack of better locations. Yeah, it's awkward, but if you can't violate family members who can you violate?
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
Granted it stuck around about as long as an orgasm but not nearly as much fun. I am all kinds of familiar with the weather patterns of my home state but it's April not February (hey look, I spelled it right!) and I can definitely do without wearing my winter coat and Bahama shorts. At the same time. So fucking cool you don't even have to tell me.
I guess I really shouldn't be surprised as it's Easter weekend, Cadbury season I like to say, so we should have expected some kind of freak weather pattern. You know, a hurricane or tsunami or something. Cuz that's just how it goes around here. It is totally not possible to hide Easter eggs in anything but gale force winds and hail the size of Aunt Martha's bunions. Can't be done. I do think the snow was overdoing it just a smidge.
My family usually has a big dinner and then all the adults get their kid on and run around the yard looking for the best hiding places for eggs and bear traps. hehe :) Silly Uncle Larry. Such a kidder. Then we turn all the younger ones loose and watch overzealous moms cheat by showing their mini-me's where the eggs are. Did I mention the traps?
We'll do this about, oh, 4 times until it gets to the point of hiding the eggs in body cavities for lack of better locations. Yeah, it's awkward, but if you can't violate family members who can you violate?
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
cha, unplugged...
I am sucking at blogging, at least lately. I haven't taken time to sit down and compose a coherent thought in a long while. And I'm pretty sure right this instant isn't the time to start seeing as how I have only had about 24 hours of sleep in the last week. Just a little loopy at this point. I could almost agree with a Republican. Wait, was that a pig I just saw fly by? Silly me!
For now, I just wanted to note 2 things,
1. We ALL need to keep Steve Gilliard of "The News Blog" in our thoughts. He is in ICU in NY due to a heart-valve replacement and major infection. Check out his site for more info. ( I don't know him personally, but my life would be so not worth getting out of bed for were it not for his invaluable commentary on the state of things right now.) He gives me hope.
2. I'm dealing with some stuff right now with the Ex. (Not to be confused with The Wife) Won't go into it while I'm this tired, that would pretty much guarantee that any decency I had left would fly right out the window searching for a host that wouldn't upset it's delicate sensibilities.
For now, I just wanted to note 2 things,
1. We ALL need to keep Steve Gilliard of "The News Blog" in our thoughts. He is in ICU in NY due to a heart-valve replacement and major infection. Check out his site for more info. ( I don't know him personally, but my life would be so not worth getting out of bed for were it not for his invaluable commentary on the state of things right now.) He gives me hope.
2. I'm dealing with some stuff right now with the Ex. (Not to be confused with The Wife) Won't go into it while I'm this tired, that would pretty much guarantee that any decency I had left would fly right out the window searching for a host that wouldn't upset it's delicate sensibilities.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
and he means that in the nicest possible way...
"you know the other night, when we were all sitting around eating salsa L made?"
"yeah, what about it?"
"you remember that you were eating mexican that night? and had a bag of chips that came with it?"
"yeah, where is this going?"
"you know how we ran out of chips, and no one had any stashed in their desk that night?"
"yeah?"
"you know when L said, "hey! T had some earlier. and remember how when we asked you, you said you didn't have any cuz you took them home at lunch?"
"um, yeah."
" well, guess what, i found that bag of chips. that bag of chips you took home? only i had no idea your home looked so much like the breakroom here. with that 50 gallon trashcan."
"ok, i can explain."
"you're an asshole!"
-gotta love late night shifts.. so much lively conversation.
"yeah, what about it?"
"you remember that you were eating mexican that night? and had a bag of chips that came with it?"
"yeah, where is this going?"
"you know how we ran out of chips, and no one had any stashed in their desk that night?"
"yeah?"
"you know when L said, "hey! T had some earlier. and remember how when we asked you, you said you didn't have any cuz you took them home at lunch?"
"um, yeah."
" well, guess what, i found that bag of chips. that bag of chips you took home? only i had no idea your home looked so much like the breakroom here. with that 50 gallon trashcan."
"ok, i can explain."
"you're an asshole!"
-gotta love late night shifts.. so much lively conversation.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
state of fear...
I know many of you out there reading the blogs, listening to the radio commentaries, or watching the news agree with me and with many of our Reps in the House and Senate, when we assert that the President no longer has the confidence of the American population (not that he ever had much of it and what he did have, didn't last long). He has shown again his stubborn refusal to accept reality this week in the culmination of days of White House leaks regarding Bush's planned speech outlining his "New Way Forward", by giving us more of the same rhetoric and fear-mongering. Let me lay out in general terms where we are right now and why.
In the fall of 2001, our country was attacked by heinous criminals intent on bringing international terrorism inside our borders. The Bush administration feigned ignorance of any forehand knowledge of these attacks of any kind. This is a lie. There are several articles which question the legitimacy of the government's claims that they were wholly unaware of impending attacks against a major American landmark. See here, here, and here for starters. The revelations in these news stories did not have as much impact as they should have. This country, in hindsight, desperately needed that impact. We began to see the true nature and intent of our President and his handlers then.
During late 2001 and early 2002, the FBI and several other countries' intelligence agencies determined that Osama bin Laden's al-Qaeda organization was behind the attacks. Specific proof came in the form of various videos depicting Bin Laden admitting responsibility for the planning and execution of the attacks and through thousands of official interviews and investigations carried out by the FBI and other agencies. Using the results of this investigation as justification, US-led forces begin aerial attacks on Taliban and al-Qaeda forces based in Afghanistan on October 7, 2001. What is left out of nearly all the reporting regarding the run-up to war is that the United States systematically supported the Taliban's operations beginning with President Carter's administration and continuing into former President Bush's. This in turn indirectly led to the alliance of bin Laden and the Taliban.
President Bush issued an Executive Order on December 12, 2001 establishing Afghanistan and it's air space as an official combat zone. As the weeks turn into months, the Taliban forces are seemingly removed from power and driven out of Afghanistan, possibly into neighboring Pakistan and other countries. The victory has been relatively short-lived.
President Bush then begins making his case to the public against Saddam Hussein in early 2002. In January of that year, during his State of the Union address, Bush declares Iraq as one of a group of nations intent on doing harm to the world and more specifically the United States. He subsequently gave evidence (which has now been proven false and outright made-up with the exception of #2 and you will see why below) of Saddam's support of terrorism by aiding al-Qaeda monetarily and with weaponry. Bush also made claims of Iraq's continued pursuit of materials needed in order to manufacture "weapons of mass destruction". The public at large bought into these statements lock,stock, and barrel. During this time, the President was still highly supported in his efforts against terrorism and was nearly without question given the approval to begin military operations in Iraq. This decision has become a mistake of epic proportions for which we are now paying dearly.
The President and his administration received little opposition during the beginning months of the invasion of Iraq. It was not until May of 2005 that revelations in The Sunday Times of London showed Bush's claims for what they were: Justification for the Bush administration to invade a sovereign nation for political and empirical gain.
Despite many of the reasons for going to war being revealed as unsound and policies enacted in the name of "Homeland Security" that are in fact considered by many illegal under the Constitution , President Bush continues on the path of destruction and obstinacy he has followed since his inauguration in 2001.
On November 7 of 2006 the United States populace overwhelmingly voted to put a stop to the tactics used by this unabashedly corrupt administration in it's domestic and foreign policies. The massively reprobate Republican Congress was given it's walking papers and Democrats finally given a chance to bring much needed checks and balances back into play. However, from the Bush point of view none of that matters. He and his team seem hell-bent on keeping the oligarchy alive and well until they are forcibly removed.
The President, who constantly and not-altogether-correctly calls himself "The Commander-in-Chief" addressed the US on Wednesday effectively terminating any hope in the war ending anytime soon. In fact, he made the intentions of his administration all to clear: We are going to war with Iran at the first opportunity. His supporters can argue all they want about this not being the case, but Bush is nothing if not consistent in his pursuit of power and control. The Defense Department has deployed a second carrier strike group to the Persian Gulf. Why was the first carrier not enough to support the current debacle taking place in Iraq and Afghanistan?
I believe that in the coming weeks, unless there is a concerted effort by our current Congress to curtail it, there will be more calls for a preemptive strike to be initiated on Iran. I believe Bush will demand that the U.N. Security Council issue authorization for military action against Iran for violations of Article III of the 1968 Nuclear Non-proliferation Treaty (NPT). These violations are quite evident, however the US administration's suggestion that there are more sinister plans in the works has not been vetted sufficiently. I do not doubt that there are ulterior motives by the Iranian government regarding their nuclear ambitions but are they altogether nefarious? Should we act on suspicion and the word of our current Administration? I would think not.
Bush has already proven himself untrustworthy and duplicitous. He has proven he is unwilling to pursue diplomatic options in diffusing difficult situations in favor of military engagement, even when it is historically unwise to do so. The Middle East has been time and time again an area of unrivaled conflict and bloodshed. By disregarding the strides toward a peaceful and diplomatic resolution to the situation facing the Middle East, including Israel, Palestine, Iran, and Syria to name some of the players involved, Bush opened the proverbial Pandora's Box in epic proportions.
There is no winning in Iraq. There will be no winning should the President move forward on attacking Iran (possibly Syria as well). It is imperative that we as a nation hold our newly elected Representatives and Senators accountable. We must reign in this reckless endangerment to our safety and well-being that is being perpetrated by one of the most corrupt administrations in recent history. I fear if we do not, the consequences of our folly may be heretofore unheard of.
In the fall of 2001, our country was attacked by heinous criminals intent on bringing international terrorism inside our borders. The Bush administration feigned ignorance of any forehand knowledge of these attacks of any kind. This is a lie. There are several articles which question the legitimacy of the government's claims that they were wholly unaware of impending attacks against a major American landmark. See here, here, and here for starters. The revelations in these news stories did not have as much impact as they should have. This country, in hindsight, desperately needed that impact. We began to see the true nature and intent of our President and his handlers then.
During late 2001 and early 2002, the FBI and several other countries' intelligence agencies determined that Osama bin Laden's al-Qaeda organization was behind the attacks. Specific proof came in the form of various videos depicting Bin Laden admitting responsibility for the planning and execution of the attacks and through thousands of official interviews and investigations carried out by the FBI and other agencies. Using the results of this investigation as justification, US-led forces begin aerial attacks on Taliban and al-Qaeda forces based in Afghanistan on October 7, 2001. What is left out of nearly all the reporting regarding the run-up to war is that the United States systematically supported the Taliban's operations beginning with President Carter's administration and continuing into former President Bush's. This in turn indirectly led to the alliance of bin Laden and the Taliban.
President Bush issued an Executive Order on December 12, 2001 establishing Afghanistan and it's air space as an official combat zone. As the weeks turn into months, the Taliban forces are seemingly removed from power and driven out of Afghanistan, possibly into neighboring Pakistan and other countries. The victory has been relatively short-lived.
President Bush then begins making his case to the public against Saddam Hussein in early 2002. In January of that year, during his State of the Union address, Bush declares Iraq as one of a group of nations intent on doing harm to the world and more specifically the United States. He subsequently gave evidence (which has now been proven false and outright made-up with the exception of #2 and you will see why below) of Saddam's support of terrorism by aiding al-Qaeda monetarily and with weaponry. Bush also made claims of Iraq's continued pursuit of materials needed in order to manufacture "weapons of mass destruction". The public at large bought into these statements lock,stock, and barrel. During this time, the President was still highly supported in his efforts against terrorism and was nearly without question given the approval to begin military operations in Iraq. This decision has become a mistake of epic proportions for which we are now paying dearly.
The President and his administration received little opposition during the beginning months of the invasion of Iraq. It was not until May of 2005 that revelations in The Sunday Times of London showed Bush's claims for what they were: Justification for the Bush administration to invade a sovereign nation for political and empirical gain.
Despite many of the reasons for going to war being revealed as unsound and policies enacted in the name of "Homeland Security" that are in fact considered by many illegal under the Constitution , President Bush continues on the path of destruction and obstinacy he has followed since his inauguration in 2001.
On November 7 of 2006 the United States populace overwhelmingly voted to put a stop to the tactics used by this unabashedly corrupt administration in it's domestic and foreign policies. The massively reprobate Republican Congress was given it's walking papers and Democrats finally given a chance to bring much needed checks and balances back into play. However, from the Bush point of view none of that matters. He and his team seem hell-bent on keeping the oligarchy alive and well until they are forcibly removed.
The President, who constantly and not-altogether-correctly calls himself "The Commander-in-Chief" addressed the US on Wednesday effectively terminating any hope in the war ending anytime soon. In fact, he made the intentions of his administration all to clear: We are going to war with Iran at the first opportunity. His supporters can argue all they want about this not being the case, but Bush is nothing if not consistent in his pursuit of power and control. The Defense Department has deployed a second carrier strike group to the Persian Gulf. Why was the first carrier not enough to support the current debacle taking place in Iraq and Afghanistan?
I believe that in the coming weeks, unless there is a concerted effort by our current Congress to curtail it, there will be more calls for a preemptive strike to be initiated on Iran. I believe Bush will demand that the U.N. Security Council issue authorization for military action against Iran for violations of Article III of the 1968 Nuclear Non-proliferation Treaty (NPT). These violations are quite evident, however the US administration's suggestion that there are more sinister plans in the works has not been vetted sufficiently. I do not doubt that there are ulterior motives by the Iranian government regarding their nuclear ambitions but are they altogether nefarious? Should we act on suspicion and the word of our current Administration? I would think not.
Bush has already proven himself untrustworthy and duplicitous. He has proven he is unwilling to pursue diplomatic options in diffusing difficult situations in favor of military engagement, even when it is historically unwise to do so. The Middle East has been time and time again an area of unrivaled conflict and bloodshed. By disregarding the strides toward a peaceful and diplomatic resolution to the situation facing the Middle East, including Israel, Palestine, Iran, and Syria to name some of the players involved, Bush opened the proverbial Pandora's Box in epic proportions.
There is no winning in Iraq. There will be no winning should the President move forward on attacking Iran (possibly Syria as well). It is imperative that we as a nation hold our newly elected Representatives and Senators accountable. We must reign in this reckless endangerment to our safety and well-being that is being perpetrated by one of the most corrupt administrations in recent history. I fear if we do not, the consequences of our folly may be heretofore unheard of.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
now showing...
I'm relatively easy to please most of the time. Give me good food, friends, my family and enough sleep and I'm about the most easy-going guy around. There are few things in life that I enjoy more though than a kick-ass movie . I love going to the movies. I like to become involved, intensly involved depending on what I'm watching. The better the movie the more engrossed I become. I love the effect of seeing great acting, even better special effects, and a good storyline coming to life 15 feet tall and widescreen. It's amazing! I know, I sound like a kid, but come on! Movies rock! Last year had quite a few great options for my viewing pleasure. From Casino Royale, Underworld-Evolution, Hostel, Inside Man, Basic Instinct-2, Silent Hill, to MI-3, and of course The Da Vinci Code. I really liked Lady in the Water, yes, really, I did. I'm not lying. The Fountain was beautiful. I know some didn't like some of these. Probably a few losers didn't like any of them. Preferring instead to pick lint out from between their toes for all the pleasure they take from life. People like that suck. They have no imagination. AT ALL. I'm related to some of them, heh.
Getting to my point, there are several very promising movies I can't wait to see this year. So far, here are my favorites:
Transformers
Spiderman 3
Pan's Labrynth
The Good German
The Good Shephard
Notes on a Scandal
Primeval
Arthur and the Invisibles
The Hitcher
300
The Number 23
These are just the first 3 months. (I know, Pan's Labrynth is already out) If the rest of the year is as full of interesting films to watch, I am going to be in heaven. Joy :)
Happy viewing guys and gals! Let me know your thoughts on any movies you are dying to see or have already seen this year.
Getting to my point, there are several very promising movies I can't wait to see this year. So far, here are my favorites:
Transformers
Spiderman 3
Pan's Labrynth
The Good German
The Good Shephard
Notes on a Scandal
Primeval
Arthur and the Invisibles
The Hitcher
300
The Number 23
These are just the first 3 months. (I know, Pan's Labrynth is already out) If the rest of the year is as full of interesting films to watch, I am going to be in heaven. Joy :)
Happy viewing guys and gals! Let me know your thoughts on any movies you are dying to see or have already seen this year.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
i like it crunchy...
No, not peanut butter. Unless it's peanut butter with the broken bones from the back legs of that deer I plowed over last night. Now, that would be some crunchy of a different sort.
It is definitely a shock I never want to experience again. I mean, I'm driving along right? All content and warm in my trendy hatchback SUV-sortaish wagon (which is not even paid off yet), when off to my left I see this streak of brown come shooting in front of me. It would have made it, too. If I hadn't been driving there at the time. Stupid me. We damn Democrats and our liberal cars. I had enough time to tighten my grip on the wheel, put both feet on the pedals, yell OH SHIT!, and WHAM! No more Bambi.
60 miles an hour and 4 skinny legs don't mix well.
I pulled off the shoulder with the hazards flashing and made sure everyone was ok. My son and wife were in the car; thankfully, nobody was hurt. Thank you Pontiac! The car did great if you ask me, no damage to the inside of the car. The outside is an entirely different story. One with a not very happy ending. You can see the results on my Flickr page, just click on the link. The car had to be towed. I should warn you, prepare to be horrified, it's a terrible scene of destruction (not really, but it's not great). I am now waiting on the body shop to get an estimate for my insurance company. My luck they'll total the thing and I will be stuck with a pretty small down payment for something else.
Merry Fucking Christmas!
It is definitely a shock I never want to experience again. I mean, I'm driving along right? All content and warm in my trendy hatchback SUV-sortaish wagon (which is not even paid off yet), when off to my left I see this streak of brown come shooting in front of me. It would have made it, too. If I hadn't been driving there at the time. Stupid me. We damn Democrats and our liberal cars. I had enough time to tighten my grip on the wheel, put both feet on the pedals, yell OH SHIT!, and WHAM! No more Bambi.
60 miles an hour and 4 skinny legs don't mix well.
I pulled off the shoulder with the hazards flashing and made sure everyone was ok. My son and wife were in the car; thankfully, nobody was hurt. Thank you Pontiac! The car did great if you ask me, no damage to the inside of the car. The outside is an entirely different story. One with a not very happy ending. You can see the results on my Flickr page, just click on the link. The car had to be towed. I should warn you, prepare to be horrified, it's a terrible scene of destruction (not really, but it's not great). I am now waiting on the body shop to get an estimate for my insurance company. My luck they'll total the thing and I will be stuck with a pretty small down payment for something else.
Merry Fucking Christmas!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
rockin' around the christmas tree...
It has begun. The countdown to end all countdowns! I'm hoping this year is a great one for you and yours!
Merry Christmas! and a Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas! and a Happy New Year!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
stamps, schmamps...
I have to confess something to you all. I feel that our relationship as blogger and bloggee can really go no further until I get this out in the open. You see a relationship built upon trust can not be fully realized if one party is not completely open and honest. So for that reason I implore you all to have open hearts and minds and try to understand...
My name is Cha, and I collect gift cards.
There I said it. I feel so much better! It's like a great weight has finally been lifted from my shoulders and the chains which have bound me have been cut!
I am not a collector of just any gift card, mind you. Oh no! I shall not stoop so low as to collect cards so common as a Barney's or Dillard's gift card. I only collect the Toyota of gift cards, the symbol of American ingenuity and capitalism. And cheap goods.
The coveted and rare Wal-mart Gift Card is my junk of choice. I even purchased a small book made to hold business cards to store them in. They fit well in the sheet pockets and look so nice all lined up in rows. Almost, dare I say it? Pretty ")
Um, excuse me, you in the front? Yes, you. Shut up. I don't need you reminding me of my sickness. Yes, I know you're right something should be done.
Can I finish? Thanks.
Every time I enter those hallowed halls of the Low Price Leader©, I immediately head to the kiosk of the cards. I won't always find new and interesting ones, but were I to skip a look I feel certain a great evil would be visited upon the world. Something like the progeny of Bush and Cheney being let out of the White House basement to wreck havoc upon the Democrats.
Oh. Wait.
Rove was seen outside just the other day. So much for my saving the world a terrible fate.
!~!GO VOTE TODAY!~!
My name is Cha, and I collect gift cards.
There I said it. I feel so much better! It's like a great weight has finally been lifted from my shoulders and the chains which have bound me have been cut!
I am not a collector of just any gift card, mind you. Oh no! I shall not stoop so low as to collect cards so common as a Barney's or Dillard's gift card. I only collect the Toyota of gift cards, the symbol of American ingenuity and capitalism. And cheap goods.
The coveted and rare Wal-mart Gift Card is my junk of choice. I even purchased a small book made to hold business cards to store them in. They fit well in the sheet pockets and look so nice all lined up in rows. Almost, dare I say it? Pretty ")
Um, excuse me, you in the front? Yes, you. Shut up. I don't need you reminding me of my sickness. Yes, I know you're right something should be done.
Can I finish? Thanks.
Every time I enter those hallowed halls of the Low Price Leader©, I immediately head to the kiosk of the cards. I won't always find new and interesting ones, but were I to skip a look I feel certain a great evil would be visited upon the world. Something like the progeny of Bush and Cheney being let out of the White House basement to wreck havoc upon the Democrats.
Oh. Wait.
Rove was seen outside just the other day. So much for my saving the world a terrible fate.
!~!GO VOTE TODAY!~!
Monday, October 23, 2006
time to start calling the shots...
We've finally come to it. Election time. Thank God.
Two years ago, our country was given the opportunity to change the course of it's fate for something better. To choose leadership with goals of reason not madness. Sadly, the voices of those supporting that change were drowned in a sea of fear, self-loathing, and ignorance. Conservative train-wreck legislation implored everyone who wanted to protect America and loved Jesus to vote for their Republican representative. Vote to "protect" marriage from the evil heathens among us wanting to sully the institution. Vote to continue supporting our Dear Leader in his endeavor to rid the poor, desperate Middle East of Satan's evil and bring the glory of democracy to their nations.
They won, then. Bush and Co. got what they wanted, two more years of unchecked power to further erode the American Constitution. Two more years to take more of our freedoms and toss them to the curb. Two more years to send innocent men and women to die for ego and personal legacy. Two more years to LIE. Two more years to pad retirement accounts and three car garages. Two more years to keep sending the economy down the drain. Two more years to give the rest of the world more reason to hate us. Two. More. Fucking. Years.
Those of you out there that voted for this shit, are you happy? Did you get what you wanted? Do you feel safer and more superior to the rest of us? Still? Not so much?
Are you going to finally stand up and do what you know is right this time around? Can you possibly pull yourself away from the television and Dancing With The Stars long enough to actually learn the awful facts about what is and has been for years going on in Iraq? In North Korea and Iran? In your own damn backyard!
It's time people. Time to send every one of the lying scumbags back home and hopefully into the waiting arms of the justice system, what little there is left of it. If you can't bring yourself to swallow your own damned pride and vote what you know is the only course of action that could possibly bring us away from this dangerous precipice ignorance has led us to, then do us all a favor and stay the fuck home. Just don't vote. Your absence will only help us bring some much needed checks and balances back into the government.
Two years ago, our country was given the opportunity to change the course of it's fate for something better. To choose leadership with goals of reason not madness. Sadly, the voices of those supporting that change were drowned in a sea of fear, self-loathing, and ignorance. Conservative train-wreck legislation implored everyone who wanted to protect America and loved Jesus to vote for their Republican representative. Vote to "protect" marriage from the evil heathens among us wanting to sully the institution. Vote to continue supporting our Dear Leader in his endeavor to rid the poor, desperate Middle East of Satan's evil and bring the glory of democracy to their nations.
They won, then. Bush and Co. got what they wanted, two more years of unchecked power to further erode the American Constitution. Two more years to take more of our freedoms and toss them to the curb. Two more years to send innocent men and women to die for ego and personal legacy. Two more years to LIE. Two more years to pad retirement accounts and three car garages. Two more years to keep sending the economy down the drain. Two more years to give the rest of the world more reason to hate us. Two. More. Fucking. Years.
Those of you out there that voted for this shit, are you happy? Did you get what you wanted? Do you feel safer and more superior to the rest of us? Still? Not so much?
Are you going to finally stand up and do what you know is right this time around? Can you possibly pull yourself away from the television and Dancing With The Stars long enough to actually learn the awful facts about what is and has been for years going on in Iraq? In North Korea and Iran? In your own damn backyard!
It's time people. Time to send every one of the lying scumbags back home and hopefully into the waiting arms of the justice system, what little there is left of it. If you can't bring yourself to swallow your own damned pride and vote what you know is the only course of action that could possibly bring us away from this dangerous precipice ignorance has led us to, then do us all a favor and stay the fuck home. Just don't vote. Your absence will only help us bring some much needed checks and balances back into the government.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
worst luck in the f'in world...
Five minutes after scarfing down a huge spinach salad, which by the way was awesome. Co-worker reads aloud this headline: "FDA recalls all bagged spinach due to E. coli contamination."
Nothing more appealing than the prospect of stomach cramps and a probability of death!
Nothing more appealing than the prospect of stomach cramps and a probability of death!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
a state like no other...
Over at Dooce, Heather wrote a piece describing the ramblings of an unknown guy doing his best to distill the world's supply of grain alcohol through his selfless liver on Jon's cell phone. It reminded me of my own morally deficient adventures in brewery land. I got drunk for the first time when I was 18 years old. I was living in an apartment with 3 other people, dropped out of college and working in fast food. Regular winner was I. We had the great idea to have a party, just a small one, with a few people. Around 20. I think. It may have been less because at some point I'm sure I was seeing double. My friends knowing I was a novice with alcohol, decided to play what they called Circle of Death. What it should have been called was get you shit-faced drunk until you pass out in the parking lot flat out on your back. I had enough Crown Royal to pickle Ted Kennedy. (That's a lot, by the way.) During the course of the evening's escapades, I became hysterically tickled by the bottles of spices on the back of the stove; they kept changing places on me. That was the funniest thing I had ever lain eyes on and let everyone know that I thought they should share in the experience with me by yelling Spices! and laughing my stupid drunk head off for five full minutes before someone finally got me calmed down enough to tell them through several giggling fits what the hell I was talking about. When I was finally ready to die, I figured I could either crawl under the sofa or make my way to the second floor bedroom. OF COURSE I chose the stairs. What kind of alcoholic-in-training would I be if I wussed out now? I began my ascent and made the first riser when it dawned on me I should be moving instead of the stairs. For the next twenty steps I was on all fours with my girlfriend behind me to make sure I didn't break my neck. Again. Winner. I didn't roll down the stairs, but my bed tried to throw me through the wall several times. It was a hateful and evil sort of bed and in need of a good exorcism. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
I survived the night, but went into a repentant state of sobriety for almost 5 years afterward.
Then I discovered rum and cokes.
I survived the night, but went into a repentant state of sobriety for almost 5 years afterward.
Then I discovered rum and cokes.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
like the weather...
It's starting to turn cooler in my neck of the woods and that can mean only one thing.
That's right, chili my friends. Food of the Gods.
Here's my own recipe for this glorious conglomeration of beef and stuff:
Cha's Famous Chili
1-1.5 lb. ground beef- no more than 85/15 lean
1 medium to large onion (chopped)
4-5 tablespoons McCormick Chili Seasoning
1 tablespoon McCormick Fajita Seasoning
2 16 oz. cans chili beans (drained)
2 sm. cans of sliced button mushrooms (drained) - (use fresh ones if you can find them but canned works well if not)
1 12-16 oz. can Hunts Tomato Sauce
2 cans Rotel Tomatoes and Green Chilies (undrained)
In a skillet, combine the ground beef, chopped onion, and the 2 seasonings. Brown the beef and onions over medium heat.
While the ground beef is cooking; in a large crock pot combine all other ingredients.
Add the ground beef and add to the crock pot, stirring to combine all ingredients thoroughly.
Cook on low heat for 6-7 hours, stirring occasionally.
Serve with favorite toppings and enjoy!
That's right, chili my friends. Food of the Gods.
Here's my own recipe for this glorious conglomeration of beef and stuff:
Cha's Famous Chili
1-1.5 lb. ground beef- no more than 85/15 lean
1 medium to large onion (chopped)
4-5 tablespoons McCormick Chili Seasoning
1 tablespoon McCormick Fajita Seasoning
2 16 oz. cans chili beans (drained)
2 sm. cans of sliced button mushrooms (drained) - (use fresh ones if you can find them but canned works well if not)
1 12-16 oz. can Hunts Tomato Sauce
2 cans Rotel Tomatoes and Green Chilies (undrained)
In a skillet, combine the ground beef, chopped onion, and the 2 seasonings. Brown the beef and onions over medium heat.
While the ground beef is cooking; in a large crock pot combine all other ingredients.
Add the ground beef and add to the crock pot, stirring to combine all ingredients thoroughly.
Cook on low heat for 6-7 hours, stirring occasionally.
Serve with favorite toppings and enjoy!
Monday, September 04, 2006
taking the long way...
Let's start this off with an announcement.
I'M EMPLOYED!
Took long enough, huh? I thought so too.
Here's a quick recap for those just joining us. I was fired on April 6th from my hella good paying job for reasons sinister. By June I had reached a state of anxiety so high if you flicked me, my entire body would hum like a tuning fork. Come July I had all but given up on ever being employed again. Either God hated me or I had been named unluckiest man in the world by the U.M.I.T.W.N.C (Unluckiest Man In the World Nominating Committee). I think it was a little bit of both. Somebody stuffed that ballot box. Anyway, I finally broke down and re-applied to my old company from '99 and wouldn't you know they took me back at 99% of my previous employer's salary. Sweet!
So, now I am back in the working world and have just hit my 1 month anniversary. It's weird starting over again but not really being unfamiliar with it because I had previous experience here. I find myself remembering how to do the job in bits and pieces and more coming back every day. And I can't help but get the feeling that I was always meant to come back here, the first day was like going to a high school reunion and seeing all the people I used to know five years older but still the same somehow.
I know that I have changed in many ways but do others see me the same as I see them? Do I want them to?
I'M EMPLOYED!
Took long enough, huh? I thought so too.
Here's a quick recap for those just joining us. I was fired on April 6th from my hella good paying job for reasons sinister. By June I had reached a state of anxiety so high if you flicked me, my entire body would hum like a tuning fork. Come July I had all but given up on ever being employed again. Either God hated me or I had been named unluckiest man in the world by the U.M.I.T.W.N.C (Unluckiest Man In the World Nominating Committee). I think it was a little bit of both. Somebody stuffed that ballot box. Anyway, I finally broke down and re-applied to my old company from '99 and wouldn't you know they took me back at 99% of my previous employer's salary. Sweet!
So, now I am back in the working world and have just hit my 1 month anniversary. It's weird starting over again but not really being unfamiliar with it because I had previous experience here. I find myself remembering how to do the job in bits and pieces and more coming back every day. And I can't help but get the feeling that I was always meant to come back here, the first day was like going to a high school reunion and seeing all the people I used to know five years older but still the same somehow.
I know that I have changed in many ways but do others see me the same as I see them? Do I want them to?
Friday, July 21, 2006
stuck in neutral...
I wrote a few months ago about losing my job thanks to my own stupidity. Since then I have been firing off resumes like a 4th of July fireworks show, mostly to no avail. I had a promising interview about a month ago with Build-A-Bear for a management position, Ms. Bear Rep told me I would hear something in July. Well, July is almost over with and the phone hasn't rung yet. I'm not holding my breath. So, now we come to today, I am scheduled to interview with a grocery store chain for a store management gig. I hold no hope that this will pay anywhere near what I was making before. But, since it is pretty clear that the employment opportunities around here are few and far between, I am willing to take almost anything.
I have been at a loss as to why my ass is still unemployed. I have always had an exemplary employment history and my job performance has never been in question. So why all of a sudden is me finding a job about as likely as Bush pronouncing nuclear correctly? It has 3, count'em, 3 syllables Dear Leader. In a way being unemployed has given me time to recuperate from working non-stop for 11 years. However, anxiety about the future and my ability to support my family has begun to weigh heavily on my psyche.
I will keep slogging through the classifieds in hope of a new path revealing itself among those black and white pages. Wish me luck.
I have been at a loss as to why my ass is still unemployed. I have always had an exemplary employment history and my job performance has never been in question. So why all of a sudden is me finding a job about as likely as Bush pronouncing nuclear correctly? It has 3, count'em, 3 syllables Dear Leader. In a way being unemployed has given me time to recuperate from working non-stop for 11 years. However, anxiety about the future and my ability to support my family has begun to weigh heavily on my psyche.
I will keep slogging through the classifieds in hope of a new path revealing itself among those black and white pages. Wish me luck.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Finding out you're still a bad person...
"Hey look, it's the one-armed security guard again," the wife said.
"Do you think she carries a gun?"
"I wonder if you could have one arm and still be a policeman?," she says.
"But what if she has to use a flashlight, too? How would she hold them both?," I ponder.
I turn to the wife and answer my own question, "I bet she juggles."
"Do you think she carries a gun?"
"I wonder if you could have one arm and still be a policeman?," she says.
"But what if she has to use a flashlight, too? How would she hold them both?," I ponder.
I turn to the wife and answer my own question, "I bet she juggles."
Thursday, June 29, 2006
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