giving some props...

Here are a few of the blogs I have been reading. Peruse at your leisure :)

1:

livin' it up in SF

2:

say what?

3:

cool chick in merry ole' England

she said i wouldn't do it...

Oh the glory that is Toilet-In-A-Box !

I believe! I believe! I believe, in the power of all things convenient! A few weeks ago I discovered something so perfectly perfect and long desired by many, I don't know what to do with myself! (GIDDILY SMILING ABOUT THIS)
So here we are in the middle of this huge re-conditioning if you will ( it's not really a remodel but you know). So anyway, big-box store A and big-box store B have become our second homes away from home and devourer of all things monetary. Each time we go there it's an exercise in pursuit of making the "final" purchase. You know the one. The "It is finally fucking over" purchase. Sadly, we are not to that point yet and I fear that it is going to forever elude me. That fucker just keeps moving on ahead and I'm left chasing its ass like I just dropped my phone in the bowl and am diving for it hoping to God it doesn't go down with the turds whose fate is to be broken in half going around the corner in the trap. Poor defenseless turds.
This week we will attempt to install our laminate flooring in the living room. I am hoping to accomplish this without too much hassle. By the way, the living room colors look mucho bueno! I will post pics soon.
The next project after we move in, which is the reason for this post, is the downstairs guest bath. Picture dried-egg-yellow sink and toilet from the Cleaver residence with dusty-dried-egg tiles and that would be about right. Yuck. So the wife ripped that shit off the walls whilst sitting on the loo. She was bored. What can I say? I need convenience, it sustains me. Thank you God for Toilet-In-A-Box!

I've told all my friends and some family about this wonderful addition to the home improvement supply arsenal. Now I have told you, internet.

P.S. Don't forget to check out Sink-In-A-Box!

oh look, another personality quiz...

It's kinda fun.. give it a try if you want :)

cha took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks affectionate, satisfying and harmonious rela..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

god i am so gay...

Remember that post about the 80's and my love of all things Pat Benatar? 'Nuff said.


...Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't brag about the number of shoes I own either.

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of an emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

they're still gross...

squish.

eeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

"Oh my god! There are grubs all over the porch!!!"

"What?"

"There are grubs!! Ewww Oh god, kill'em! They're disgusting!"

"hehe"

"EEEWWWW!!!!!! (screeched while jumping up and down, fists in the air) Go kill them!!"

squish. squish, squish, squish. POP!

musical tasticity...

I am a child of the 80's!
There I said it. I can't take it back and there is no changing it. So let's face the music as it were and move on, shall we? I grew up surrounded by music of all sorts: Creedence, REO, Fleetwood Mac, George Strait, Reba, Poison, Heart, and all manner of flavors in between. My grandparents and my father had their own band and for years summers were spent at cookouts, riversides, and fish- fries; hearing good renditions of bad music and bad renditions of good music. I still listen to most of the same stuff and have added over the years a great deal of good music (to me, not so good to some of the people that know me : read the wife). I recently rediscovered Pat Benatar was to my liking. I hadn't listened to anything from her in years. Though I was quite stoked to have it playing, there came a threat of death and dismemberment should the in her words (or something close), "whining, howling shit touch my ears." Wow. Double wow. Hate Pat Benatar? Is there such a thing? I dislike certain music as much as anyone, but to hate it so much I would hurt someone dear to me is harsh. Right? That's just mean.
--Editor's note: I found out how serious she was, I left it on one day in my car and when she got in, before I could even sit down she had ejected it, rolled down the window and was proceeding to fling it into the great blue yonder. Again, WOW.
The wife has a preference for more dark and angry music on one hand and the other? Silliest shit she can get her hands on. Christmas Kittens and Trout Fishing in America, among others. I like 80's big-hair and she craves cat carols. Match made in heaven. Hee hee!
I will listen to anything she wants me to, almost always. She however has strict guidelines on what of mine she will listen to. Example? Mother's Day Present this year: I took my mom to Kansas City to see Reba McEntire (who looked unbelievable, damn! She's 50!), Brad Paisley (motherfucker can play), and Terri Clark (as honky tonk as they come) and she Would. Not. Go. Absolutely refused to have any part of it! She thought I had gone over the edge because I was so excited. I've been waiting years for the opportunity to see Reba live and the wife avoided it like it was the plague. The concert was everything and more and my mom and I had a really good time together. The wife called after the show and asked about it. I related in various orgasmic phrases the magnitude of just how un-fucking-believable it was... she still thinks I'm weird.

Hate Pat Benatar and all things country music? To each his/her own, but that's just Un-American.
...even if she is cute in the mornings when she crawls in my lap and tries to squish me :)

grumpy is as grumpy does...

I'm feeling kinda irritable today. It's busy at work and we are all stressed trying to move goods into and around the hurricane affected areas. I hope everyone remains safe during this ordeal. It has been a rough month for all in this country. I don't know of anyone who has not been touched by this mess in some way. My prayers are with all of you.

sprinklings of purpleation...

A few months ago, the wife and I lost our fucking minds and bought a bigger house. Our current situation was becoming unbearable due to the size of the house and the size of our household coming to terms with their incompatibility. So in an effort to ease the tensions between the two, we found, fell in love with, and sold our souls to a beautiful 1950's 2-story on 2 tree-filled acres. Freaking awesome! Freakin' awesome is right, awesome in the scope of renovating we found ourselves going to be involved in. New paint, new genuine manufactured, processed, cured, blessed by the pope laminate hardwood flooring, some more new paint, and we are still not finished yet. Did I mention the 50 year-old windows that need to be replaced but are going to have to wait until we sell our current house? Oh, don't forget with that 50 year old window we have 50 year old outlets. Joy To The World and all that is good and grand and what-the-hell-ever-else! There are days I believe that somewhere along the line, I stepped off the road and right into a pile of crap.

However, those days are few and far between. I know deep down that this was the right decision for my wife and I to make. We were suffocating in our old house, it was too small and there was no way of making it better easily. Eventually all our work is going to pay off. We are getting closer to finishing the house and being able to move in. Granted the work will continue for awhile after we move in but we will be MOVED!

so i got a new phone...

still grabbing the ankles, but now I can take pictures!

all hope abandon, ye who do not pay attention to thine cell phone plan...

It's such a wicked thing, that little box attached to our beltloops. It keeps us tied into everyone's business and everyone tied into ours and we love it. Don't we? We love to hate it and to talk about it and compare it to our friends' and we can't do a goddamn thing without it. Can we?

"Hey, give me your cell phone, I'll chat at ya."
"I don't have one."
"What? Your kidding right?"
"No. And fuck you for judging."

People get mad if we use them; we are rude and socially unconscious. And yet, they turn around and are mad because they cannot reach us whenever it's convenient for them.

As if the phone wasn't bad enough, we have the bill to contend with each and every month. A 400 page waste of a tree telling us how many minutes and half-minutes and 1/3 minutes we used in the last 30 days. It gives us a detailed reminder of just how many people we know and how often we keep in touch with them. "Good lord, when did I call them?" And God forbid you ever go over your plan minutes! The Phone Militia will break down your door, kidnap your pets, sell your children and call you names just for having used 351 minutes and your plan only has 350 minutes included. Oh, the horror! That will be $300 for that minute. Joy and have a nice day!

Really there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. When you get the opportunity to upgrade that plan to include mobile to mobile minutes which you never really had all along, do it. Because when your spouse, whom you love entirely more than anyone should really be able, becomes unemployed and you have so much more free time during the DAYTIME portion of your plan you might as well bend over and grab the ankles. This is gonna hurt. :( :( :(

choking on bullsh*t...

I have a problem. It's not a big problem per se. In fact, I would consider it a positive quality but others would probably see differently. You see, I have a tendency to shoot off my mouth with highly astute observations without any form of solicitation by others whatsoever. This is usually not a problem. It gives people a fresh perspective on the topic and a good laugh to boot. But sometimes it backfires and I pay. Do I ever pay. Let's look at an example shall we?
NPR. I love NPR. I find the news to be highly informative and more often than not quite entertaining. On Monday afternoon, during All Things Considered, our Crackhead in Power was doing his best to imitate Mr. Magoo and doing a fine job of it I might add. Speaking at a press conference he responded to a reporter's question about whether he had been misinformed when he stated that no one had anticipated the levee breaking in NO:
"No, what I was referring to is this. When that storm came by, a lot of people said we dodged a bullet. When that storm came through at first, people said, whew. There was a sense of relaxation, and that's what I was referring to. And I, myself, thought we had dodged a bullet. You know why? Because I was listening to people, probably over the airways, say, the bullet has been dodged. And that was what I was referring to. "

In my fervor and need to voice my opinion with as much gusto as possible, I did it. I formed the word in my wee little brain and began moving it into my vocal chords at unprecedented speed. But, thankfully, common sense reared its ugly head and shutdown so completely my trachea that my word, a word so appropriate to the way I felt, was diverted down my esophagus in a devastating retreat. This caused such spasms of rejection in my diaphragm that: Yes folks, I choked on bullshit.

Children, especially 6-year olds who love nothing more than to mime their dad, really have no idea the sacrifices their parents make for them.

and the winner is...

I don't know how many more stupid people I can talk to this morning. Seriously, you drive a damn truck for a living and you have no idea how to get from point A to point B?
Case in point:

piss-ant "I need to know where to get on I-#1 from I-#2."

cha "Ok, do you have your atlas in front of you?"

piss-ant "What?"

cha "I said get out your atlas. Where are you right now?"

piss-ant "I'm in some northern state going to some other northern state (cha- Like I really care right now. I've been here since before Christ walked. I'm tired.)"

cha "Ok, well I-#1 actually intersects I-#2 here."

piss-ant "Oh, yeah I saw that but I wasn't sure that was it."

cha "Um, ok. Have a good day!"

just kill me.

My very first post! My own! Can you believe it?...

Ok, now that the stupid part of this post is over, let's get down to business :)

Let me start with a little background:
I am in my late 20's, married, one child.
I live in Arkansas. Yes, we wear shoes, most days, especially on Sunday.
No, I have no family members who were related before they were married. It' true!
And I work, well, I guess it could be described as Hell. Yeah. That's close enough. I'm an employee in a transportation company based somewhere near Purgatory. Joy! Obviously I will never reveal which company cuz um, being employed and all is better than not. Oh the glory that is anonymity!
Ok, I'm rambling, getting back on track...

I basically just want a place to voice my thoughts and opinions and to hear from the rest of the world. I know, thats what my friends and family are for. And? Strangers are so much more interesting!