monkey see, monkey do...

Monkeys rock-

pardon me, while I hurl...

The grossest thing I have ever heard:

Our dog going to town snout down between her legs.

Imagine something akin to a pig rooting in mud, your toothless uncle gumming pudding with his mouth open, and the half-clogged drain in your tub sucking that last inch of water down the pipes.

All at the SAME TIME!

the monster that lives in the toilet...

Yesterday while wandering around Lowe's, my son's half-brother (I know very complicated, I have one child and his mother is now remarried with a second, who we keep during the day for her while she is at work), began doing the hunched-over-I-am-pretty-sure-the-buick-in-my-ass-is-in-drive-dance. I rushed him to the restroom, which of course, was on the other side of the store, completely in the back. The pooping commenced.

I learned something during that excursion to waste-management land, children can lay stinkers as powerful as big people and courtesy-flushing while said child is still on the throne will result in his disengaging his ass from the seat at such a rate as to cause a significant drop in air pressure inside the bowl.