disillusionment running amok...

Where did we go wrong? Where did the lines between our past and our present become severed? Where is Waldo?

I used to believe that this country represented everything that was just and fair about the world; that we were a country who fought for equal rights for it's citizens; that we could be counted on to accept individuality and personal opinion. Boy was I wrong. That may be what we started out as some 200 years ago but we have devolved into a modern-day version of the twisted, religious-zealot promoting police state our ancestors fled from. In the last few years, I have seen more and more evidence that we are heading blindly down a road to our own damnation, not to Hell, but to internal implosion. Maybe that would be Hell, I don't know. Maybe it would be better than our current situation, where corporate whores have plundered our bank accounts in the name of free enterprise, power-hungry assholes have led us into a fight we cannot win, and equality is something only those that have God behind them can dole out to the poor masses. I remember being taught in school that our founding families left Europe to escape religious persecution and oppressive rule by a small-minded minority. They came here in search of a better way of doing things, of making decisions based on common sense and not what their God told them to do. (Do not read that wrong, I am a Christian but I don't shove it down people's throats, everyone has a right to their own personal beliefs and dis-beliefs. I do not profess that what I believe is the way and only way. I could be wrong. So could you.) In an age where we profess modernity there are still many who cannot or will not admit that "All men are created equal" and should have the right to pursue their own happiness however they see fit. One caveat on that, their own happiness as long as it DOES NOT harm another individual. And I am sorry you shall never convince me that a man or woman who wants to marry someone of the same sex and take on that responsibility is harming you. Bullshit.

I am beginning to wonder if maybe those of us left with a brain should get together and leave in search of our own refuge from oppression?

it may become habit forming...

"Let's keep it simple. First they stole an election. Then—everything else that's not nailed down."- Lee Greenburg, writing to www.tompaine.com.

double double toil and trouble...

Something wicked this way comes indeed:

Syria: The Next Iraq

the long of the short, cha-chita wearing turquoise sequins...

Whew, it's been a little while since I posted last. Sorry about that guys. I know you have all been just dying to read something profound here. (Yeah right!) Why don't we just go straight to something completely inappropriate? Thought so.

There seems to be a certain part of the population in which I am deemed, um, quite appealing. Namely the gay part of the population. Who the hell knows why. I'm not that cute. Wait, couldn't be the fact I listen to 80's and early 90's fem-pop and own shitloads of shoes could it? Hmmm....
But I digress. I probably brought this upon myself and now karma is cashing in her chips on my ass. You see, a few years ago my (so-called) best friend, she ratted me out later the fink, happened to notice another one of our friends whom we worked with was taking an interest in me. Not a female friend mind you. Said not-female-friend asked so-called-best-friend if I might be well, you know. So-called-best-friend had to tell me of course. And of course I had to be a jerk and plot, plot, plot. Not maliciously, but to have some fun. It was around this time that I had recently lost about 30 pounds and was looking pretty fit if I do say so myself :) I know, I know, I suck. You have already figured out where this is going. I started wearing tighter shirts and really nice pants. I was hot. Yes, I made it a point to casually stroll around in the same area where so-called-best-friend and not-female friend sat. It worked. He so wanted me. Not-female friend had no idea until (and this is where I question best-friends loyalty to my schemes) so-called-best-friend spilled the beans and blew it for me (and I thought I was so sneaky). Oh well. Like I said it was all in fun and Not-female friend knew it was. He is totally cool like that and still thinks it funny to this day. I however have never lived it down :{

Now, fast-forward to Wednesday night of this week. Living large with Chili's and their very tasty ribs. This is where karma kicks in and makes me shiny and sparkly to waiter-boy. Was he ever helpful and very friendly. hehe...I'm oblivious of course to what is going on until it's time for the check.

"So will this be separate checks or...?"

Wife and I look at each other and "No."

"Oh. OK. It's good to ask, cuz you never know. I always do. (nervous laughter) I hate paying for my friends even."

It hits us at the same time. Wife says, "he thinks your cuuuuuute!"

So I left a him a big tip. (Get your minds out of the gutter!)

Karma and gay boys. Go figure.

Sidenote: He was most definitely checking out my ass as we left.

nap anyone?...

So work is um, how shall I put this kindly? Fucking Boring. So boring i may just strip naked and run around the office screaming obscenities just to get a laugh :)

Ok, maybe not totally naked but don't be surprised if I'm pants-less soon.

hehehe

Eh, maybe I will just go sleep in my car for an hour. Without my pants.

random bits recorded on my phone while wandering around Wal-mart recently...

1. Chains, remember to think about chains.

2. Entrails hanging from the chandeliers.

3. Fake bones of some kind. Remember to think about fake bones.



Hmm... I would be concerned I think.

a propensity for panic...

So, it's now going into the seventh month of dual home-ownership for my wife and I. As I previously mentioned we have had several projects that have taken considerable time to accomplish. I think we are getting close finally to wrapping those most headache inducing of them up. The FLOOR. The GARAGE (aka: kitty hotel). When I married the wife I also inherited a zoo. Albeit a small one, a zoo none-the-less. We couldn't just move from one house into the other due to this little predicament. The new(52 years old new) house had wall-to-wall allergen exacerbator installed and oh hell did that have to go. We also did not want the lovely little boogers' essential toiletries inside the house as it currently is, along with their foodstuff and leisure activities. That just makes for a fucking mess. Ick. So we set out to convert the original one car garage that won't fit a car anymore into kitty heaven! That is almost accomplished now. Thank you God! Just one thing to do on the construction side of it- cut a hole in the wall for to push their fat asses thru :) Pandoura, Mr. B, Harvey (he who is the fattest of them all), you, guys, this is all going to be for you. Because we love you. And we hate to smell you.

That will complete our GARAGE portion of today's programming. Next up- The FLOOR.

Holy Crap in a hand-basket! Old houses are great because they will usually have a history as well. It gives them character and life in a totally inanimate way. Cuz, you know, dead wood and glass are just dead wood and glass. It's not like it breathes or farts in it's sleep. It might eat socks. I don't know.. anyway. Old houses are great like I said, but they do one thing pretty much the same way a person does, THEY SAG! They sag so that when I want to put down laminate flooring, which is kinda straight it won't stay down because the saggy old floor is well saggy and kinda not all the way straight. You get the idea. Another project and another trip to the hardware store to buy floor straightening stuff. Home remodeling seems to never end. TLC and before it AETN and Bob Vila heralded this era of DYI. They can all so kiss my ass. I have yet to complete anything in the span of 30 minutes. Where the hell is my time-lapse video?

hmm, they work now.. go figure

cool.

well shit...

Cannot get the links in my previous post to work. Don't know WTF is going on.

Damn! They were good too.

supercalifragikickyourass...

Two things.
1: It's turned fucking frigid here!
2: Do all public schools suck as much as my town's?

Ok, I wanted some cooler weather but this is crazy! It was 90 F last week and yesterday? Yesterday, as I was leaving work my balls booked a flight to Hawaii. I told them I couldn't go. They didn't care. Bastards, both of them.

Is it really so much to expect that my child receive a quality education without fear of being picked on by teachers and students alike? Apparantly so. Who knew? Last year, kindergarten, he did pretty well. There were a few days where he had some issues with attention and following direction. Nothing major. Ended the year with good marks. Now, oh yes, now. 1st grade has come along and let me tell you. My kid is the antichrist. He has been sent home with comments regarding talking, playing around in the halls, and sticking his little paws in other people's food. That's just in the last week and a half. Hmm.. something doth strike me peculiar. When did he become the Son of Satan? I mean really did I miss a memo? Granted I have wanted to hurl him to the nether regions on more than one occasion but I am feeling this is excessive. Today I picked him up from the line as usual, look in his folder and lo and behold! Another mark! NO! Wait! There are two marks this day. His little smiley face now has the X of death on it!! My little demon was involved in TWO crimes it seems. Today's infraction was The Hitting in the Hallway. My son's class was headed to the art room and some punk in line decides it's a good idea to hit my kid. Now, here is the part that I will not normally condone: son hits him back... not hard mind you but hitting none the less. Yep, you guessed it, graffitiness of the smiley face. Well. I had had enough of this. Off to the see the principal. So, Son relates the story of what happened and there it is. He drops the name. A name I shall not repeat but just look at this lovely little number by DODGE. Asshole, who thinks it's funny to mess with my kid. Let me tell you what you little turd, I will hunt you down and power ranger your ass buddy! seems to have a propensity for harrassing other kids. You see yesterday the son came home with a mark on his smiley face because he was struggling with see above who was trying to take from my kid the library book he had so rightfully picked out not moments before. Instead of taking care of the problem, ie: asshole, by keeping him away from my son and not letting him instigate something they just reprimand the both of them. I really hate that. It was not fair when I was in school and guess what! Still isn't. I know it is not major issues right now, but as this kid gets older, he is more than likely going to become a bully. If his parents can't or won't control him? My kid knows Tai Kwon Do dirtbag.

and the day was long...

I'm tired, it's 03:57 and I leave work in a few hours. Thank goodness. I promise to post this evening with something witty and socially applicable. Promise. Really.

i am becoming god-like...

I rock! Not only can i write, I can code. Check out that email link directly to the right. Watch out internet! Here I come!

Oh yeah, directly to the right and slightly straight down about 2 inches. That's it.

giving some props...

Here are a few of the blogs I have been reading. Peruse at your leisure :)

1:

livin' it up in SF

2:

say what?

3:

cool chick in merry ole' England

she said i wouldn't do it...

Oh the glory that is Toilet-In-A-Box !

I believe! I believe! I believe, in the power of all things convenient! A few weeks ago I discovered something so perfectly perfect and long desired by many, I don't know what to do with myself! (GIDDILY SMILING ABOUT THIS)
So here we are in the middle of this huge re-conditioning if you will ( it's not really a remodel but you know). So anyway, big-box store A and big-box store B have become our second homes away from home and devourer of all things monetary. Each time we go there it's an exercise in pursuit of making the "final" purchase. You know the one. The "It is finally fucking over" purchase. Sadly, we are not to that point yet and I fear that it is going to forever elude me. That fucker just keeps moving on ahead and I'm left chasing its ass like I just dropped my phone in the bowl and am diving for it hoping to God it doesn't go down with the turds whose fate is to be broken in half going around the corner in the trap. Poor defenseless turds.
This week we will attempt to install our laminate flooring in the living room. I am hoping to accomplish this without too much hassle. By the way, the living room colors look mucho bueno! I will post pics soon.
The next project after we move in, which is the reason for this post, is the downstairs guest bath. Picture dried-egg-yellow sink and toilet from the Cleaver residence with dusty-dried-egg tiles and that would be about right. Yuck. So the wife ripped that shit off the walls whilst sitting on the loo. She was bored. What can I say? I need convenience, it sustains me. Thank you God for Toilet-In-A-Box!

I've told all my friends and some family about this wonderful addition to the home improvement supply arsenal. Now I have told you, internet.

P.S. Don't forget to check out Sink-In-A-Box!

oh look, another personality quiz...

It's kinda fun.. give it a try if you want :)

cha took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks affectionate, satisfying and harmonious rela..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

god i am so gay...

Remember that post about the 80's and my love of all things Pat Benatar? 'Nuff said.


...Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't brag about the number of shoes I own either.

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of an emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

they're still gross...

squish.

eeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

"Oh my god! There are grubs all over the porch!!!"

"What?"

"There are grubs!! Ewww Oh god, kill'em! They're disgusting!"

"hehe"

"EEEWWWW!!!!!! (screeched while jumping up and down, fists in the air) Go kill them!!"

squish. squish, squish, squish. POP!

musical tasticity...

I am a child of the 80's!
There I said it. I can't take it back and there is no changing it. So let's face the music as it were and move on, shall we? I grew up surrounded by music of all sorts: Creedence, REO, Fleetwood Mac, George Strait, Reba, Poison, Heart, and all manner of flavors in between. My grandparents and my father had their own band and for years summers were spent at cookouts, riversides, and fish- fries; hearing good renditions of bad music and bad renditions of good music. I still listen to most of the same stuff and have added over the years a great deal of good music (to me, not so good to some of the people that know me : read the wife). I recently rediscovered Pat Benatar was to my liking. I hadn't listened to anything from her in years. Though I was quite stoked to have it playing, there came a threat of death and dismemberment should the in her words (or something close), "whining, howling shit touch my ears." Wow. Double wow. Hate Pat Benatar? Is there such a thing? I dislike certain music as much as anyone, but to hate it so much I would hurt someone dear to me is harsh. Right? That's just mean.
--Editor's note: I found out how serious she was, I left it on one day in my car and when she got in, before I could even sit down she had ejected it, rolled down the window and was proceeding to fling it into the great blue yonder. Again, WOW.
The wife has a preference for more dark and angry music on one hand and the other? Silliest shit she can get her hands on. Christmas Kittens and Trout Fishing in America, among others. I like 80's big-hair and she craves cat carols. Match made in heaven. Hee hee!
I will listen to anything she wants me to, almost always. She however has strict guidelines on what of mine she will listen to. Example? Mother's Day Present this year: I took my mom to Kansas City to see Reba McEntire (who looked unbelievable, damn! She's 50!), Brad Paisley (motherfucker can play), and Terri Clark (as honky tonk as they come) and she Would. Not. Go. Absolutely refused to have any part of it! She thought I had gone over the edge because I was so excited. I've been waiting years for the opportunity to see Reba live and the wife avoided it like it was the plague. The concert was everything and more and my mom and I had a really good time together. The wife called after the show and asked about it. I related in various orgasmic phrases the magnitude of just how un-fucking-believable it was... she still thinks I'm weird.

Hate Pat Benatar and all things country music? To each his/her own, but that's just Un-American.
...even if she is cute in the mornings when she crawls in my lap and tries to squish me :)

grumpy is as grumpy does...

I'm feeling kinda irritable today. It's busy at work and we are all stressed trying to move goods into and around the hurricane affected areas. I hope everyone remains safe during this ordeal. It has been a rough month for all in this country. I don't know of anyone who has not been touched by this mess in some way. My prayers are with all of you.