worst luck in the f'in world...

Five minutes after scarfing down a huge spinach salad, which by the way was awesome. Co-worker reads aloud this headline: "FDA recalls all bagged spinach due to E. coli contamination."

Nothing more appealing than the prospect of stomach cramps and a probability of death!

a state like no other...

Over at Dooce, Heather wrote a piece describing the ramblings of an unknown guy doing his best to distill the world's supply of grain alcohol through his selfless liver on Jon's cell phone. It reminded me of my own morally deficient adventures in brewery land. I got drunk for the first time when I was 18 years old. I was living in an apartment with 3 other people, dropped out of college and working in fast food. Regular winner was I. We had the great idea to have a party, just a small one, with a few people. Around 20. I think. It may have been less because at some point I'm sure I was seeing double. My friends knowing I was a novice with alcohol, decided to play what they called Circle of Death. What it should have been called was get you shit-faced drunk until you pass out in the parking lot flat out on your back. I had enough Crown Royal to pickle Ted Kennedy. (That's a lot, by the way.) During the course of the evening's escapades, I became hysterically tickled by the bottles of spices on the back of the stove; they kept changing places on me. That was the funniest thing I had ever lain eyes on and let everyone know that I thought they should share in the experience with me by yelling Spices! and laughing my stupid drunk head off for five full minutes before someone finally got me calmed down enough to tell them through several giggling fits what the hell I was talking about. When I was finally ready to die, I figured I could either crawl under the sofa or make my way to the second floor bedroom. OF COURSE I chose the stairs. What kind of alcoholic-in-training would I be if I wussed out now? I began my ascent and made the first riser when it dawned on me I should be moving instead of the stairs. For the next twenty steps I was on all fours with my girlfriend behind me to make sure I didn't break my neck. Again. Winner. I didn't roll down the stairs, but my bed tried to throw me through the wall several times. It was a hateful and evil sort of bed and in need of a good exorcism. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

I survived the night, but went into a repentant state of sobriety for almost 5 years afterward.

Then I discovered rum and cokes.

like the weather...

It's starting to turn cooler in my neck of the woods and that can mean only one thing.
That's right, chili my friends. Food of the Gods.

Here's my own recipe for this glorious conglomeration of beef and stuff:

Cha's Famous Chili
1-1.5 lb. ground beef- no more than 85/15 lean
1 medium to large onion (chopped)
4-5 tablespoons McCormick Chili Seasoning
1 tablespoon McCormick Fajita Seasoning
2 16 oz. cans chili beans (drained)
2 sm. cans of sliced button mushrooms (drained) - (use fresh ones if you can find them but canned works well if not)
1 12-16 oz. can Hunts Tomato Sauce
2 cans Rotel Tomatoes and Green Chilies (undrained)


In a skillet, combine the ground beef, chopped onion, and the 2 seasonings. Brown the beef and onions over medium heat.

While the ground beef is cooking; in a large crock pot combine all other ingredients.

Add the ground beef and add to the crock pot, stirring to combine all ingredients thoroughly.

Cook on low heat for 6-7 hours, stirring occasionally.

Serve with favorite toppings and enjoy!

taking the long way...

Let's start this off with an announcement.

I'M EMPLOYED!

Took long enough, huh? I thought so too.
Here's a quick recap for those just joining us. I was fired on April 6th from my hella good paying job for reasons sinister. By June I had reached a state of anxiety so high if you flicked me, my entire body would hum like a tuning fork. Come July I had all but given up on ever being employed again. Either God hated me or I had been named unluckiest man in the world by the U.M.I.T.W.N.C (Unluckiest Man In the World Nominating Committee). I think it was a little bit of both. Somebody stuffed that ballot box. Anyway, I finally broke down and re-applied to my old company from '99 and wouldn't you know they took me back at 99% of my previous employer's salary. Sweet!
So, now I am back in the working world and have just hit my 1 month anniversary. It's weird starting over again but not really being unfamiliar with it because I had previous experience here. I find myself remembering how to do the job in bits and pieces and more coming back every day. And I can't help but get the feeling that I was always meant to come back here, the first day was like going to a high school reunion and seeing all the people I used to know five years older but still the same somehow.

I know that I have changed in many ways but do others see me the same as I see them? Do I want them to?