have you looked under the couch...

I am at a loss; or rather, I am the victim of loss. Have you ever misplaced something, not of any particular value, but nonetheless you would like to know where it is? I have been through this on occasion, you know the car keys, wallet, shoes, kid (ok, so I haven't misplaced my kid anywhere). Except for that one time at the...well anyway, we won't get into that.

Where was I?

OH! Yes, the subject.

I have lost a newly, freshly, smells great, barely touched, jar of JIF Crunchy Peanut Butter! And when I say lost, I mean really lost. Like so lost I haven't been able to find it since the day I opened it. That lost.
I have looked through every cabinet I can think of. It wasn't in the bedroom or behind the bed. Hell, I even looked in my car just in case I had thought to take it to work with me and forgot I had ever carried it out of the house. Cuz folks, that's just the kind of moron I am. My wife swears, swears up and down that I took it out of the house and left it either at work or it is still in my car. But, I ask you, why would I have forgotten something like that? I love peanut butter! I distinctly remember opening it; giddily anticipating the first crunchy bite of its peanut buttery goodness. I remember getting out the Krispy Whole Wheat Saltines just for the occasion. I remember sitting down on the futon, with my plate of crackers and my virgin jar of JIF Crunchy Peanut Butter, and savoring the first and most wonderful bite of saltine/peanut butter fusion. It was wonderful:) Sadly, the bliss was only to last that day. Because as I stated before, I am a moron.
I keep hoping it will turn up soon. Unless it was absconded with by a brood of roving aliens, whose only lot in life is to search the universe for planets of unsuspecting tools such as I and stealing their peanut butter. Bastards. Intelligent beings. My. Ass. Common thieves if you ask me.

If any of you happen to see a random jar of JIF Crunchy Peanut Butter hanging around your house and you don't know how it got there; please email me so I can retrieve the wayward thing.

Thank you for your support.

Cha